Merry Christmas 2019

We’re headed out in the morning for our first Christmas up north in lots of years.

I can’t specifically remember which year it was, the last time we did Christmas up north.

I do remember we had Z with us.  We rented rooms at an otherwise empty hotel and had parties in the hallway and took over their main conference room with our food.

Z got a Microsoft Surface that year.  I still have it.  It’s in my office.  With the rest of her life.

10 years ago, I was spending my last Christmas with Joe.  We knew what was coming up.  We knew it was going to be the last Christmas with him.

I don’t remember what we did.  Or where we were.

It was the first of many shitty holidays.  There was a 5-year window where they were upgraded to bittersweet.

I’m still getting unreasonably mad at things and unsuspecting people that don’t deserve it (apologies to the Amazon business lady that was trying to best to do her job)

But time marches along, holidays don’t stop just because I feel like opting out.

It’s walking into the wind, head-down.

I’ll laugh and have a good time.  I’ll see my siblings twice this year(!) because of this Christmas.  We’ll follow through with our grand plans.

My heart will ache for every second we’re there.

Merry Christmas.

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